My daughter, Cassandra Anne, has been dead for over 2 years but the pain associated with her loss still creeps up on me and hits me like a ton of bricks. Last night Todd was cleaning up Lesley closet and he came in with a onesie he found that has a hold cut in it for Cassie's g-tube. He lifted it to his nose and inhaled deeply but there was not any of her essence left. It made my heart skip a beat and my eyes filled with tears thinking of her.
We have one of my favorite photos of Cassie in our bedroom and most nights I can look at it and it doesn't pain me but for the last week it has almost brought me to tears each time I see it. It just feels so unreal that we had a daughter who died. It makes me want to scream "Why us? Why her?". But we will never have those answers. We just keep moving on.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Daria:
I am so sorry for your pain. I think grief comes in waves sometimes. It subsides for awhile but then comes back, crashing down like it has on you. And I know it is frustrating for you not to have the answer to why this happened. Not understanding is part of the grieving unfortunately.
I love you and hope to see you soon.
Terri
Post a Comment