Tomorrow morning, after my psychiatrist appointment, I am heading into work. This is the first time I will be at work since the end of 2006. How do I feel? Scared, terrified, and sad. My meds makes me so sleepy. I don't wake up until 11am, then I feel thick as a brick most of the day, I'd love a nap at about 4pm and if I don't eat regularly I get the shakes and want to vomit. On top of all of that I have SOOOOO many appointments for myself and Lesley that I need have my work schedule dropped to 4 days a week (or 32 hours). Basically I think I am barely even a shell of the employee I was before my break and if I was an employer I don't think I would want me.
If this is going to be the rest of my life (and people tell me it won't be but who would have the guts to tell me otherwise) I see why manic depressed people go off their meds. This SUCKS and no one seems to hear me say that.
Well it is 10pm so it is time for bed (now that I am on these WONDERFUL drugs.)
Daria
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